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30 Ideas for Redirecting Your Screaming Toddler
1. When I said, “Use your words, I forgot you only have 150 or 200 of them.”
2. Alexa! Lower the damn volume!
3. If you stop hollering, I will chase after you like a monster for 20 minutes.
4. Let’s count to 1,000.
5. You have preschool tomorrow. And Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday, thank goodness.
6. We don’t we channel all this energy and clean up the garage?
7. Want to watch Moanana? Fwozen? Both? Want to watch everything?
8. If……you’re happy and you know it….?
9. Remember when you were a tiny baby and slept nineteen hours every day?
(Leaves the room, splashes water on face, brushes teeth and goes into the kitchen to make eggs. Returns several minutes later…)
10. Let’s change the topic. Isn’t this whole Bloomberg thing ridiculous? I mean, he can’t even get on the debate stage without donations. What is that idiot thinking?
11. We should really channel all this energy and rebuild the back porch. Are you good with a hammer?
12. Venting is good! Get it out, honey! Get it all out! All of it! Out!
