40 Appropriate Responses to “How are you?” in May, 2020

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photo via visualhunt.com
  1. Hanging in there.
  2. Could be worse. Could be much worse.
  3. People say ‘can’t complain, but let’s change it to ‘shouldn’t complain.’
  4. About the same.
  5. Lucky.
  6. Lucky, but it’s tough.
  7. Lucky, but slowly losing my sanity.
  8. Lucky?!*#@!
  9. Really fucking lucky?
  10. We have two eggs left before our planned bi-weekly grocery run.
  11. We have enough food to get us to Friday.
  12. Our fridge died, but we’re lucky, we can afford a new fridge and a mini-fridge until then.
  13. Our fridge died, but we’re lucky, we can afford a mini-fridge.
  14. Our fridge died, but we’re lucky, we hadn’t gotten groceries for a while, so we didn’t lose too much.
  15. Our fridge died and we’ll be living on cans and crackers for a while.
  16. Toilet paper is stocked, so we’re all set.
  17. We have toilet paper again. It’s single ply. I keep getting shit on my fingers.
  18. We don’t have any toilet paper, so we’re using tissues.
  19. We don’t have any toilet paper or tissues, so we’re using notebook paper.
  20. We don’t have any toilet paper or tissues or any kind of paper, so we’re not shitting inside anymore.
  21. Okay.
  22. Still have a job and food and shelter and savings.
  23. Still have a job and food and shelter.
  24. Still have food and shelter.
  25. Still have shelter and the lines at the food banks have gotten shorter.
  26. Woke up today and have been awake all day.
  27. Woke up today and have been awake for most of the day.
  28. Woke up today and have been awake for some of the day.
  29. Woke up today. What day is it?
  30. I’m here.
  31. Is it November, yet?
  32. I’m ready for 2021.
  33. Every day I’m on the yo-yo.
  34. When I grew up, there was a middle class.
  35. When I grew up, there were facts that most people acknowledged.
  36. When I grew up, we hoped to spread peace and be good people. Now we just hope the Earth exists in 50 years.
  37. Ever since I stopped thinking myself as “American,” I’ve felt a bit better.
  38. No, how are you doing?
  39. I couldn’t hear you through the mask. What was that?
  40. (a silent nod, acknowledging a greeting was made)

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