I did not plan
For the baby bottle
To leak
All over her shirt
At 6:15 this morning.

I did not plan
To have the dogs bark
As soon as she
Fell asleep
In my lap.

I did not plan
To sneeze
My startlingly loud sneeze
As soon as she
Had mercifully fallen back
Into her mid-morning nap.

I did half-heartedly plan
To see the total solar eclipse
Though I knew
The odds of her napping
And of the ever-present
Morning clouds parting
Would make those plans

I did not plan
To take her diaper off
At the very moment
She let out a full stream
Of urine
Onto the changing pad,
Though the waterproof cover
Fulfilled its promise.

I did plan
To get some planning done
For the upcoming classes
I will teach in a week.
Though the plan
To plan fell through.

I did not plan
To see JoJo
Vomit up her dinner
Minutes after
She finished the special
Salmon skin.

I did not plan
To pour boiling water
Directly onto my left foot
As I attempted
To soak my feet
In the post-bath waters,
Though I have
Poured boiling water
Near my feet
Most nights
For the last month.

I will not plan
For all of the above
To happen tomorrow,
Though something unplanned
Shall certainly occur.

Writing. Poetry. Personal Essays. On the NBA, MLB, media, journalism, culture, teaching and humor.

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