A List of Things to Do While You Attempt to Nap Because the Baby is Napping and You’re Tired and It’s Still Early Enough That Maybe You’ll Actually Nap
1. Think of all the writing you won’t get done.
2. Feel how comfortable the bed is and ignore the barking.
3. Think of all the concerts you won’t attend.
4. Try to remember what you’re going to have for dinner.
5. Debate whether or not you should shower now or in 32 minutes.
6. Check if the baby is actually sleeping or standing up in her crib.
7. Think of how much day is left, how you really just woke up and its overcast so its easier to go back to sleep.
8. Count backwards from 20 while taking slow, deep breaths.
9. Consider what time you need to leave the house to get to the baby music class.
10. Don’t check your email again.
11. Reset the timer for 20 minutes.
12. Don’t think about the fact that a 20-minute nap is useless.
13. Should you finally finish reading that article?
14. Why not add someone to your fantasy baseball team?
15. Think of how comfortable the damn bed is.
16. Check your calendar to make sure you don’t have to do anything this weekend, maybe you’ll catch up on sleep then.
17. Check to see if the baby is sleeping., nope, she’s pulling herself up in her crib.
18. Get out of bed. Who needs a nap anyway.
19. Scoop the coffee grounds. Pour the water. Start the machine.
20. Take a 3-minute shower, sort of dry off, throw clothes on, and go get your daughter from her crib, where she stands and bounces and calls out that she’s ready for some eggs and pork sausage.