A-Z: Animals That Are Just Getting By In This Cruel World

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Abe the Antelope (courtesy visualhunt.com)

Abe the Antelope
Ate a nice cantaloupe
But he won’t elope
With his lady Hope,
…nope.

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Beatrice the Bengal Tiger (courtesy visualhunt.com))

Beatrice the Bengal Tiger
Limps because her leg hurts
But refuses to see a nurse.

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Cora the Cormorant (courtesy visualhunt.com)

Cora the Cormorant
Dives deep under the current
But doesn’t trust the sand.

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Danny the Dodo (photo courtesy visualhunt)

Danny the Dodo
Loved Tolkien’s Frodo
But refused to see any
Lord of the Rings films
In the theater:
He had a deep fear
Of popcorn from that
One time the family
Left a big bag of it
In the park, and he
Nearly choked to death.

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Elvin the Elephant (photo courtesy visualhunt)

Elvin the Elephant
Thinks people are irrelevant
But still, he’s mostly benevolent.

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Flo the Flamingo (photo courtesy visualhunt)

Flo the Flamingo
Loves a live music show
But since having her babies, she simply doesn’t go.

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Gia the Giraffe (photo courtesy visualhunt)

Gia the Giraffe
Willingly signs her autograph
But she refuses to laugh.

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Howard the Hippo (photo courtesy visualhunt)

Howard the Hippo
Will occasionally tiptoe
But people fear his stomp…oh no!

Ingrid the Iguana (photo courtesy visualhunt)

Ingrid the Iguana
Enjoys a nice sauna
But won’t go back to Tijuana . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Even though her friends keep asking, “You wanna? You wanna?”

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Jodi the Jackrabbit (photo courtesy visualhunt)

Jodi the Jackrabbit
Can be seen in her black jacket
But won’t drop her bad habits.

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Keon the Kangaroo (photo courtesy visualhunt)

Keon the Kangaroo
Works with old cars and new,
But he often has trouble going poo.

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Larry the Llama (photo courtesy visualhunt)

Larry the Llama
Has way too much family drama
But rarely calls his Mama.

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Maxi the Mouse (photo courtesy visualhunt)

Maxi the Mouse
Has a nice little house — — She lost her keys a few months ago
All her valuables are in there.
She called a key guy
But when he came,
He didn’t see anyone and left.

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Nefi the Nighthawk (photo courtesy visual hunt)

Nefi the Nighthawk
Tends to perch on cliffs with rocks
But every so often…at the end of his shift … he refuses to punch the clock.

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Olivier the Owl (photo courtesy visual hunt)

Olivier the Owl
Occasionally happens to wear a scowl
But often forgets to wash his towel.

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Petra the Peacock (photo courtesy visual hunt)

Petra the Peacock
Used to work for Reebok
But quit and ran out of the building
With ten boxes of sneakers in a duffel bag.

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Quincy the Quetzal (photo courtesy visual hunt)

Quincy the Quetzal
Ate too many pretzels
The salt was killing him
But he wouldn’t stop munching.
Finally he went out and found a half-empty bottle of natural iced tea.

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Reyna the Reindeer (photo courtesy visual hunt)

Reyna the Reindeer
Had no lovely nose
She was missing an ear
Filled with anxiety and fear,
But she managed to keep her job,
Working every morning at the motel.

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Seymour the Salamander (photo courtesy visual hunt)

Seymour the Salamander
Wasn’t willing to pander
He refused to play games
And drove his lame boss insane.
Power trips have no scenic views.

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Tito the Tarantula (photo courtesy visual hunt)

Tito the Tarantula
Took a gargantuan
Bite out of a meatball sandwich.
He badly needed a napkin, the sauce was everywhere,
But he wouldn’t take one. He preferred to wear the mess.

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Ulysses the Unicorn (photo courtesy visual hunt)

Ulysses the Unicorn
Had a face full of scorn
The scorn was well-worn
Almost etched into his unicorn brow
There was nothing to do about it now.

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Vicki the Vole (photo courtesy visual hunt)

Vicki the Vole
Used to scamper up flagpoles.
Unusual for voles,
Who usually stay close to the ground,
Not Vicki, but the problem:
She wouldn’t come back down.

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Winston the Walrus (photo courtesy visual hunt)

Winston the Walrus
Attended Alcoholics Anonymous
But rarely spoke.
He sat silently, munching
On stale powdered donuts,
Which clung like hell to his whiskers.

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Xena the X-Ray Tetra (photo courtesy visual hunt)

Xena the X-Ray Tetra
Wouldn’t go to the doctor.
She was afraid
Of what they might find
In her bones.

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Yancy the Yellow Baboon (photo courtesy visual hunt)

Yancy the Yellow Baboon
Was going to leave her home soon
But she was binge-watching Netflix again
She had so many shows to catch up on,
What was a baboon to do?

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Zadie the Zebra (photo courtesy visual hunt)

Zadie the Zebra
Sort-of-believed in astrology; (She was a Libra)
She read her horoscope each day
But read at the end of the night, while in bed she lay.
It was unorthodox, but hey, that was Zadie.

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