Band Names for Toddler Parenting Scenarios

Life with a toddler isn’t simple. Life with a toddler in a pandemic is even less simple. On the one hand, my mornings and early afternoons (until naptime…if she settles for her nap) are always quite occupied and I don’t have time to obsess about the mess that is the outside world right now. On the other hand, the Pixies “Where is My Mind?” might as well be the toddler parent’s anthem for these last two months.

In honor of all the parents of 2–6 year-old children out there, parenting in this pandemic, here’s a list of band names for the various scenarios we find ourselves in:

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Image for post
photo via Visual Hunt

Potty training band names:

The Urinators
The Hold-It-Ins
The Tiny Accidents
The Overnight Pull-ups
Reluctant Shits

Tantrum band names:

The Histrionics
The Big Feelings
Tony and The Tantrumatics
Flooding the System
The Last Straws
Josie and the Breakfast Tossers
The Performance Artists
Immediate Reactors

Sleep-Deprivation band names:

Delilah and The Never Dawns
The Bed Terrors
Tori and The Tornado Sleepers
Nap Attack

Food and Eating band names:

The Refusals
No, Yes, No
Picky and the Stubborn Stomachs
Isabel and the Hold-Outs
Fries Please
OK Apples
Stereo Yogurt

Transition band names:

Isaac and the In-Betweens
Five More Minutes
Tactical Delay
Niko and the No Jackets
Juggling Daddy

No Sharing band names:

Lost Forever
Mia and the Collectors
All Mine Now
Joey and the Meltdowns
Take Take Take
Never Too Much
Lucas and the Pick-Pockets

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