Homeschooling Your Toddler: A Very Precise Schedule For Success!

5:52 AM
Ignore the noise coming from your toddler’s room.

6:13 AM
Ignore the sounds of canine whimpers coming from inside your bedroom.

6:25 AM
Collect your toddler, then bring your toddler to the kitchen. Let the dogs out. Feed the dogs. Give the toddler water and yogurt. Let your dogs poop if they so desire after eating.

Between 6:40 and 7:40 AM
Avoid any screens. Drink coffee. Ask your toddler if they want to read any books. Change your toddler’s diaper if they still have one. If not, guide them to the bathroom multiple times. Take any pills that give you superhuman strength or patience or health benefits of any kind. Eat fruit and yogurt.

Between 7:45 and 9:00 AM
Drink more coffee. Use the bathroom. Bring out options. Puzzles. Legos. Dolls. Trains. Don’t expect anything. Just bring them out, maybe start playing with them for a few minutes to encourage the toddler.

Between 9:00 AM and 10:00 AM
If you’re leaving the house, now is the time to do things like wash your face and genitals, brush your teeth, encourage your toddler to brush their teeth, and generally get ready to be in society, even if that’s just up the street to your friend’s house, where his toddler awaits your toddler’s arrival. Deodorize and other normal things Involved in not being gross. Prepare snacks.