How Are You Feeling?

A trip through health (mental and physical), psychology, adolescence, fatherhood, relationships and the rocky terrain of emotions

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Emotions as represented by old roller-coaster (via

Scaling Happiness

Because I care about my friend, after he’d been sick for a day or so, I texted him to see how he was doing. Here’s our interaction, which has me thinking about how we talk about how we feel in general.

Socialization and the Flaws of Real Life

I grew up spending too much time dwelling on the negative. I was a natural perfectionist raised by a mother whose expectations were difficult to meet and who had trouble decompressing from the chaos of single-parenting and full-time teaching. My older brother’s report card rarely included an A minus, and whenever we played a board game or a sport, we were competing, not playing.

Restless Minds

It’s difficult to live with a constantly observing, restless mind. There are times the chatter gets too loud, where a mild panic can overtake me in a rushing crowd, or when losing my grip has become overwhelming and occasionally terrifying. My dreams have always been about missing something, losing something, searching for someone, worst case scenarios. In other words, losing control. An active imagination can become overly active and tilt you out of orbit.

If and When You Become a Parent

All of your own issues become easier to notice, and less important if you recognize the importance of raising a child, when you become a parent. This is a genuine benefit to all humans: caring for someone else allows you to forget yourself.

Which brings us back to…The Search for Happiness

What is it that keeps us from being content? We’re taught not to settle for average. To push ourselves to be the best. To achieve status in a materialistic and individualist society. To become ruthlessly efficient and quantify every aspect of our lives, constantly comparing ourselves to others.

All That We Cannot Control

I haven’t learned how to give up control. Despite years of conscious effort, my subconscious still often wins. Our daughter is two years and nine months old. I have to remind myself constantly to let her figure it out. I feel as if I’m always cleaning up. I’m always putting things back or picking things up. I encourage her to help. Sometimes she does. Life is messy. Dog poop dries in the grass, which grows and wants to be mowed. Weeds grow and want to be pulled. In November, the leaves fall and want to be swept. In March the blossoms arrive, then fall, and want to be swept. It is calm now. The sun is back, after taking several days off.

Writing. Poetry. Personal Essays. On the NBA, MLB, media, journalism, culture, teaching and humor.

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