Identity is an Endlessly Rotating Kaleidoscope: Adventures in Human Connection

Identity is an endlessly rotating kaleidoscope, projected onto a white wall. We see all the colors blending, the shapes constantly changing. That orange hexagon. Maybe that’s me in 2nd grade. It’s looping into a purple oval. That’s me as a self-conscious 8th grader, afraid of assholes and bullies. That emerald green cube. That’s me as a freshman in college. Each shape shifts. We are fluid, like time and water.

We’re about 60% water and more like water than we might think. You can never put your hand into the same river twice. And your hand is the river.

I think about identity because I write. Writing about people means writing about our sense of self and how the self can be integrated into the widening world. Or the narrowing world. Writing about people means writing about ideas about people. Some like to say we can never fully know another person. We can never fully know ourselves. I’ve always wondered why people do the things they do. Why people were cruel to each other in elementary school. On sports teams. Hurt people hurt people. That’s the pithy saying. People are always hurting and some spread their hurt from coast to coast.

Why do some people have to win so badly that they act like lunatics? Why do we prize that as “competition?” And I’ve spent…