In NBA News… (Early November Edition)

Jonah Hall
2 min readNov 11, 2021
We’ll Make it to the Playoffs. We Will.

Klay Thompson Could Return Before Christmas (Ordered a Giant Present Box to Sit Inside and Let Steph Unwrap at Center Court When He Makes Season Debut)

John Wall Unlikely To Play This Season (Has to Organize His Google Drive Folder)

Marvin Bagley Refused To Enter Game Against Suns (Was Waiting for Microwave Popcorn to Finish)

Celtics Not Interested In Trading Jaylen Brown (More Interested In Trading Enes Kanter or Juancho Hernangomez)

Damian Lillard Calls NBA Officiating ‘Unacceptable’ (Prefers Last Few Seasons of Officiating Where He Received 4–5 Free Points Per Game)

Klay Thompson Looks Good In Workouts (New Haircut and New Shorts)

Jimmy Butler Challenged Stephen Graham To Meet Him In Back Of Arena (Both Love Chess and Tired of Playing Online)

ESPN Report Alleges Racism, Misogyny Within Suns Under Robert Sarver (Everything Else in Report Is Rather Complimentary)

Suns Players ‘Waiting For More Information’ Before Commenting On ESPN Report (Reporters Will Be Waiting For Suns Players to Comment Until Sarver is Gone)

LeBron James Out At Least One Week With Abdominal Strain (Tells Westbrook to Enjoy Playing with Reckless Abandon Until Thanksgiving)

Celtics Hold Players-Only Meeting Following Marcus Smart’s Comments (Sometimes We All Have to Put Our Phones Down and Acknowledge Each Other’s Humanity)

Brad Stevens: Celtics ‘Going To Find Out’ If They Have The Right Players (Calling Zach Lowe and Kevin Pelton)

Ben Simmons Preferring To Work With NBPA On Mental Health Instead Of 76ers (Sixers Therapist is Named Dr. Morey, NBPA Therapist is Named Dr. Make Them Trade Ben)

76ers Resume Fining Ben Simmons After He Misses Thursday’s Game (To Fine or Not to Fine, That is the Question in this Ridiculous Ongoing Drama; Meanwhile Sixers Keep Winning Despite COVID absences and Simmons)

Damian Lillard In Response To Philly Fans: I’m 10 Toes In Rip City (And 10 Fingers in Order of Nachos)

Pascal Siakam Could Make Season Debut Next Week (Could Be on Trade Block in January Considering How Good Scottie Barnes Is)

Nikola Vucevic ‘Totally Fine’ With Role On Bulls (Winning is More Fun Than Losing)

Hollinger & Duncan Podcast: Time to Panic?!? (It’s the Annual Early Season Ritual of NBA Media: 7–8 games in to an 82-Game Season…Let’s Overreact in the Headline to Get Clicks then Coldly Analyze the Numbers and Tell Everyone We Need to Wait Until 20 Games In to Analyze Each Team’s Problems With Statistical Proof)

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Jonah Hall

Writing. Poetry. Personal Essays. On the NBA, MLB, media, journalism, culture, teaching and humor.