Not Another Word: A Modern Nursery Rhyme

Image for post
Image for post
photo via Visual Hunt

Hush little baby, don’t say anything at all,
Papa’s gonna order books, puzzles and plastic from the devil’s mall.

And if those books, puzzles and plastic from the devil’s mall don’t keep us occupied,
Papa’s gonna order an entire playground’s worth of equipment, then in the garage it will reside,

And if that playground equipment doesn’t suit your fancy,
Papa’s gonna buy you an old donkey named Nancy.

And if that donkey named Nancy gets the virus,
Papa’s gonna buy you more paints and papyrus,

And if all of them pretty paints run out,
Papa’s gonna buy you a teapot, short and stout,

And if that teapot falls from the table and cracks,
Papa’s gonna make you some banana flapjacks,

And if those flapjacks burn in the pan,
Papa’s gonna find you some apricot jam,

And if that apricot jam gets way too sticky,
Papa’s gonna fill up the inflatable pool, it ain’t too tricky,

And if that inflatable pool runs out of water,
Papa’s gonna buy you more dollies, you can pretend they’re your daughters,

And if those dollies keep losing their shoes,
Papa’s gonna buy a new mind to lose,

And if that mind turns inside-out,
Papa’s gonna book more therapy sessions,

And if those therapy sessions don’t give Papa a boost,
Papa’s gonna think of some satirical nursery rhymes, involving a caboose,

And if those satirical nursery rhymes don’t help,
Papa’s gonna lie on his back and take ten deep breaths, welp,

And if those deep breaths don’t calm Papa down,
You’ll still be stuck inside with us as the Earth spins around.

Writing. Poetry. Personal Essays. On the NBA, MLB, media, journalism, culture, teaching and humor.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store