Real GM NBA Headlines (Insert Comment): December 25–29

*Gerald Green Agrees Upon Non-Guaranteed Deal With Rockets (Nothing in Life is Guaranteed, But Gerald Provides Some Scoring Punch in Case of Emergency)

*Reggie Jackson to Undergo MRI on Right Ankle Sprain (Stan Van Gundy Bids on Seasonal Affective Disorder Lamp on E-Bay)

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Stan Van Gundy Uses Light to Cope With Michigan Winters and Injuries.

*Knicks Still Have Wily Hernangomez in Plans (Wily Thinking More About Other Creative Pursuits After Spending 30 Games Glued to Bench)

*Net Rating: Raptors Close Gap on Warriors, Rockets (Raptors shooting more threes, switching well on defense with new additions, but usually play well over first half of the season, and are still the Raptors)

*Blake Griffin Expected to Return From Injury This Week (Lou Williams and Austin Rivers Privately Disappointed, Doc assures Austin that he’ll get his share of shots in last month of season, unless Clippers are fighting for 6th seed)

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Blake Griffin gets healthy and Clipper Ship Is Sailing Away from Doc.

*Warriors Could Trade JaVale McGee (Jordan Bell Calls Mom to Celebrate, JaVale McGee Calls Agent to Complain)

*Lonzo Ball Out At Least One Week With Shoulder Strain (Lakers Medical Staff Also Planning To Assess Psychological Strain of Being LaVar’s Oldest Son)

*Carmelo Anthony Accepting Off-Ball Role (Prefers it to Off-Court Role, Especially Considering How Off-Putting the First Half of the Year Has Been for OKC Fans)

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