Real GM’s NBA Headlines (Injuries Besiege Us, But We Will Not Stop Watching!): January 22-January 29
*Clippers Trade Blake Griffin to Pistons (Griffin Calls Agent to Check to Make Sure the Five-Year Deal He Just Signed Was Not Five-Months; Clippers Fans Crossing Fingers and Toes For LeBron This July)
*Mike Conley Out For Season With Surgery On Heel (Marc Gasol Beginning to Think Grizzlies Can’t Win Title This Year)
*Chandler Parsons Denies Report Grizzlies Approached Him On Injury Retirement (With Two Years Left on $94M contract, Parsons Has Played About 94 Minutes)
*Joel Embiid To Play On Back-To-Back Nights For First Time In Career (Embiid’s Fantasy Owners Doing All Kinds of Dances Upon Learning About This)
*Andre Roberson Out For Season With Ruptured Left Patellar Tendon (Right Patellar Tendon is Perfectly Fine)
*Marcus Smart Out Two Weeks With Cut Hand (But Brought Picture Frame With Him Back to Boston)
*Knicks Attempting To Part Ways With Joakim Noah (Plane, Train, Automobile, Motorcycle, Bicycle, Unicycle, Helicopter, Segue, Hoverboard. Noah Has Refused All Forms of Transport)
*Nikola Vucevic Hopes He’s Not Traded By Magic (First Player Since Penny Hardaway Era To Want to Stay In Orlando)
*DeMarcus Cousins Suffers Torn Achilles (Because Some Guys Get All the Breaks)
*Dwane Casey Wants Raptors To Push For №1 Seed In East (As Opposed to Being Content Just to Make the Playoffs?)
*Report: Dan Gilbert Has Interest In Selling Cavaliers (Rest of NBA Breathes Sigh of Relief)
*Popovich Dismisses Suggestion Kawhi Leonard Situation Has Become ‘Soap Opera’ (Sees it More As Suspense Film)
