Real GM’s NBA Headlines (Insert Comment): December 11–14

With only seven months to go until free agency, the LeBron destination speculation headline factory continues its path of destruction. How lucky we are to be NBA fans in the age of speculative future outcomes!

Sources Describe LeBron James To Lakers As Long Shot (Since he’s making a career-high 42% of his three-pointers this year, that makes the Lakers a solid possibility. Also, those ‘sources” were probably in the Rockets front office.)

Gordon Hayward Out of Walking Boot (Now Wearing Sensible Yet Rugged Hiking Boots)

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No more walking boots for Gordon!

Suns Sign Isaiah Canaan With Injury Exception (If Canaan is the land of milk and honey, this Suns team is more like the land of cactus and tumbleweed)

Grizzlies Continue to Believe Window Open With Marc Gasol, Mike Conley (If the NBA were a 2-on-2 league, Memphis would be title contenders!)

Lakers Ask LaVar Ball to Tone Down Criticisms of Luke Walton (Magic Johnson wonders how the next decade will go, ponders the thankless task of corralling the most obnoxious father in the history of professional sports, considers trading Lonzo this summer…)

Nerlens Noel Doesn’t Regret Rejecting $70m Offer From Mavericks (Noel, who has been benched for much of the year, is focused less on next NBA contract and all about Bitcoin futures)

Bulls Gauging Trade Value of Nikola Mirotic and Robin Lopez (LaVine tells management he’ll go anywhere, even Sacramento)

Mavericks Lead NBA in Home Attendance Rate, Last in Away Rate (Despite 8–20 record, Mavs fans keep showing up…sources say Mark Cuban is handing out special prizes at end of season for fans who prove they’ve attended all 41 home games)

Danilo Gallinari Out With Another Glute Injury (Gallinari proving to be quite a pain in the butt for Clippers fans as well…I know…low-hanging fruit.)


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