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This Worldwide Pandemic Is Being Brought To You By…

Jonah Hall
3 min readMar 28, 2020

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photo courtesy Visual Hunt
  1. Generic single-ply toilet paper.

Dissolving quickly so its safer for your plumbing. When the apocalypse comes, you make sure that anus is clean!

2. Zoom Meeting!

For those work meetings that won’t fit around a conference table. Nobody knows if you’re wearing pants under the desk. If you don’t own a desk, just use old Amazon boxes and kneel in front of one. Zoom Meeting! Confusing most people over 55 and some of each age range for as long as we’ve been around!

3. Netflix

Binge, stream, chill. You ain’t going anywhere.

4. Parenting-at-Home

In 28 easy installments of $9.99, Parenting-at-home will guide you through every phase of parenting, from infancy to toddler-hood right up through high school. Get to know your children again, just stay at least six feet away from them for the next few months.

5. Unions

Remember when workers had protections and benefits? Remember when one-third of the workers in our economy weren’t depending on part-time jobs with little security or benefits? Unions. Those pesky organizations that helped America build a middle-class.

6. Amazon

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Jonah Hall
Jonah Hall

Written by Jonah Hall

Writing. Poetry. Personal Essays. On the NBA, MLB, media, journalism, culture, teaching and humor.

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